What a Donk

Look up the word donk in the dictionary right now, and you'll find my picture. Holy shit I played like the biggest donk in the world today. I just got back from my first live cash game experience and it was a complete disaster. I just want to kick myself in the nuts right now for how bad I played. I don't even feel like blogging but I just need to vent.

Basically I've come to question whether I have ANY poker skills what so ever. Not the way I was playing I don't. Sure it was my first time playing a live cash game so I was a little nervous but still, thats no fuckin excuse what so ever. So I guess I'll run through some of the retarded plays I made.

I bought in for $100 and waited til a seat at $1/2NL opened up. It hadn't even been 10 minutes that I'd been at the table and I'm on the button with JJ. I raise it to 10 and get two callers. Flop comes something like 89K. 1st guy checks and 2nd guy bets I think like 25 and I call. We check check the turn which is a blank and the river is another blank but he fires like 40 dollars. I think for a bit and then call. He had KQ and just like that I'm down to 30 sumthin dollars!

Wait it gets better. Even though I manage to double up with AJ against QK and then I crack a dude's Aces with pocket fives when I catch a miracle 5 on the river, I was still able to keep donking off my chips. I was so out of my comfort zone because I'd never played with stakes that high before, and I figured with $1/2 blinds, standard raise at the table would be 6, but somehow it was 12, not to mention this one dude who kept straddling every chance he had. So the final hand of the night came when I had j10 and flop comes 89x. I make a standard raise and the other guy puts me all in for my last 40 so I decide to call for some reason with an open ended straight draw against KK. I brick of course and that was that. I swear if I had been anybody else sitting at that table I would have been like "What a fuckin donk!" and I'm pretty sure that's what people said as soon as I left the table and I don't blame them.

God damn it, I'm really pissed off about the way I played. It's like I feel like I can't play poker for shit. Whatever little confidence I had in my game was shattered tonight. Man, I'm done I don't feel like writing anymore. This is it. I gotta reevaluate poker in my life. Maybe I'll be able to think a little better later when I'm not steaming so much.

I hate poker.